The Safe listener

Video to help you understand what you may be experiencing

Trauma is a wound of the heart and mind that causes deep suffering. Those who have experienced trauma often need compassionate care and intentional healing. Yet trauma can be difficult to recognize, because the wounds are often hidden beneath coping mechanisms developed simply to survive.

People who have experienced trauma often try to avoid reminders of it. They may avoid certain people, places, or situations that bring back painful memories of what happened to them. Sometimes they cannot clearly remember the events, while others may try to numb their emotions through addictive substances or behaviors in order to escape the pain. It is also common for those who have experienced trauma to avoid talking about what happened. Silence can feel like protection. Yet when feelings remain unspoken and unprocessed, they often stay bottled up inside, continuing to affect the heart, mind, and body. Some experiences are more severe than others and can cause lasting effects or what it called impact. Remember trauma is the effect after the event has taken place.

One way to relieve our pain in our hearts is by talking about it. It can be difficult to share what we have gone through and how it could be still affecting us. But this allows you the space to not caring the burden alone. Typically, sharing your story and the painful memories can ease those painful memories instead of ignoring them or minimizing them.

Reflection Questions

What emotions do I tend to avoid or push away?

What situations or relationships do I avoid because they remind me of past pain?

What might healing look like if I invited God into those places?

The Hem of His Garment: Mark 5:28

"For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.”

Heavenly Father,

We know as your children, that You are the One who we can cry out to, we know that You listen and we know that You are always with us- no matter what we walk through. Just like the women who touched your garment after all that she had endured- you heard her inner cry and you saw her desperation and you healed her. Thank you for your powerful love that touches and heals and makes us well when we come honestly before you. Thank you for always being there and for sending people in my life to help me heal and to listen. Help me to trust those that are safe and to be able to walk through the seasons in my life that truly bring healing, rest, freedom and hope. Thank you for your comfort and care and for the body of Christ. In Jesus Name, Amen

A good listener creates a safe space, like being in a harbor where the waves are no longer crashing- a sage harbor allows others to be seen, heard, understood and believed. This can really help the person sharing experience being accepted and loved. This also creates a new experience with them that they hopefully can create a new healing memory with someone that truly cares.

How to know what a safe listener looks like:

THE SAFE LISTENER’S PROMISE

I will listen to understand. They will ask helpful questions- What happened? How did you feel? What was the hardest part for you? Allowing you to answer at your window of tolerance.

I will keep what you share private.

I will not minimize your pain.

I will not compare your pain with my own.

I will not give quick solutions.

I will listen again when you want to share more. They do not force you to share more than you are comfortable with. Romans 12:10, Proverbs 11:13

(From Trauma Healing Institute)

Pacific Counseling & Trauma Center- Psychotherapy Trauma Network

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is an important step in the healing process. If you notice flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or find yourself repeatedly talking about a traumatic event with strong emotional reactions, it may be helpful to speak with an experienced trauma counselor.

Other signs that you may need support include feeling easily startled, constantly on edge, or unable to experience a sense of inner rest or relaxation. These can be symptoms of post-traumatic stress, where the body and mind continue to experience past events as if they are still happening in the present.

Physical symptoms can also appear, such as headaches, stomach aches, dizziness, insomnia, emotional numbness, or difficulty remembering certain parts of the event.

You may also notice yourself avoiding reminders of the trauma—staying away from certain people, places, or situations that trigger memories. While this response is common, it can also be a signal that deeper healing may be needed.

If you recognize these signs in yourself, remain curious and compassionate toward your experience. It may be time to seek support and talk through what you have been carrying. Healing often begins when we allow our stories to be heard in a safe and supportive place.

Reflection Questions

1. Have I noticed any of these symptoms in my life?

2. What situations or memories tend to trigger emotional reactions for me?

3. What would it look like for me to seek safe support in my healing journey?

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”Psalm 34:18

Even in the deepest wounds, God sees, understands, and draws near to those who are hurting.

This week, consider taking one small step toward healing.

You might:

• Journal about a memory or feeling that has been difficult to face.

• Talk with a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor.

• Spend quiet time asking God to reveal what He wants to heal in your heart.

• Practice gentle self-care such as prayer, walking, or breathing exercises.

Healing often happens one small step at a time.

Helpful Healing Worship Link

Help to get intouch with your heart during seasons of healing so that you did not ignore what is going on inside.

Promises of God to Meditate on who He is:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and

the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort

those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3–4

"Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you

rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and

humble in spirit; and you will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light." Matthew 11:28–30

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:5–6

"But God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" Psalm 66:19-20

"I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God:

that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14-15

"The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry... When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles." Psalm 34:15,17

"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:12

"The LORD is near to all who call on him... he hears their cry and saves them."Psalm 145:18-19

"In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I called. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry came to his ears." 2 Samuel 22:7

"...the Lord listened and heard [those who feared him]... a scroll of remembrance was written in his presence." Malachi 3:16

"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5–6

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28–31 NIV

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13–14

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed,

for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.

Psalm 31:7

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:3–5

Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved,

for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

We never give up. Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made

stronger each day. These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will

make all our troubles seem like nothing. 2 Corinthians 4:16

May the LORD bless you and take care of you; May the LORD be kind

and gracious to you; May the LORD look on you with favor

and give you peace. Numbers 6:24–26